Post by The Handy Helper on Jan 29, 2006 15:10:04 GMT -5
19 TIPS GUARANTEED TO GIVE YOU MORE FAMILY TIME
By Dr Scoresby
When asked what would bring them more happiness, many people say they want more time for themselves, and more time with their families. Obviously this wish cannot be answered by adding more hours to a day. The solution can be found by using the time you have more efficiently. Smart time management (planning carefully and setting priorities) can give you more time to be used for yourself and your family in the ways you enjoy.
Many parents work long hours and find that free time with their families is extremely limited. Try to involve your children in what you need to do. Break down your big projects and delegate so that you can spend time together, even when simply doing chores.
When planning a birthday or holiday party, make a list of the things to be done, and do one small part of the preparations every evening. For example, work on invitations one night, planning decorations the next, then decide on the menu, and so on. Your kids will enjoy being involved in the preparations and will feel proud they contributed to the success of the event. You would have spent time planning the party anyway, and by involving them (even if they're not as helpful as you make them think they are) you will have derived double benefit from limited time.
Avoid wasting precious time together watching too much television. Watching TV is tempting, because you don't need to expend any energy. There's nothing wrong with enjoying movies and favourite TV shows together, but you may get into a monotonous habit. Whenever you have a free hour or two, don't fill it by turning on the TV.
Simplify your life by getting rid of clutter, junking useless possessions, and cutting down on outside commitments. For example, if someone calls you and extends an invitation, don't be afraid to say you can't make it (even if you have no prior commitment). Make choices based on what's best for you and your family.
Little time-savers and efficiencies (shorter showers, simple dinners, dishwashers) can make a difference, but the important thing is to see the larger picture and make some fundamental changes. Here are 19 tips that will simplify your life and give you more family time.
1. Consolidate lists and schedules into one planner, then keep it close at hand. This avoids losing track of commitments when you have one calendar at work and another at home. Time-management systems (such as Franklin Day Planner) offer binders and inserts in various sizes, allowing you to customise pages to suit your needs.
2. Keep a family calendar. Tape a large monthly calendar on the refrigerator or mount an erasable bulletin board on the wall, listing everyone's activities. Also include deadlines for long-term school projects. Try using a different coloured marker for each member of the family. This makes individual schedules easy to identify and encourages children to keep track of their own activities.
3. Plan each day. The maxim that you have to spend money in order to make money also applies to time. Spend 10 minutes--early in the morning, on your lunch hour, or before you go to bed--quietly reviewing what you must do in the next 24 hours. This helps you feel in control, cuts down on unfocused activity, and helps you concentrate on the things that really matter.
4. Write family time into your schedule. If time together is a priority, don't just hope it will magically appear after everything else on your long list has been checked off. Block off several hours on a Saturday afternoon, for example, even if you don't yet have specific plans.
5. Pare down your possessions. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Every object exacts a price beyond its initial cost in terms of cleaning, upkeep, and storage. Getting rid of unneeded things--magazines, newspapers, letters, clothes, even unused furniture--produces two benefits. First, it frees more space in closets and rooms. Second, it confers a sense of lightness and mental freedom. Ask yourself: Do we need this item? Do we use it? Do we like it? If the answer is no, throw it away, give it to a charity, or sell it.
6. Maintain order. Who hasn't known the frustration of searching frantically for something that it temporarily misplaced or buried amid clutter? It wastes time, energy, and peace of mind. Before you go to bed, load the dishwasher, straighten the living room, gather newspapers and trash, and sweep the kitchen floor quickly. Then, in the morning, everything will go more smoothly.
7. Keep a petty cash fund. If children need money for school lunches or transportation, calculate the total amount you need each week. When you do your banking, get enough dollar bills or small change to cover everyone's needs. This saves frantic last-minute searches in wallets and pockets as the school bus approaches.
8. Use automatic bill-payment plans. Most banks allow customers to authorise direct withdrawal from a checking account. You select the date for withdrawal. Bill-paying can be time consuming. There's no way to do it fast and accurately. Each automatic payment means one less check to write, one less stamp to lick, and one less deadline to remember.
9. Ration television time. Is your family watching too much TV? Even one less sitcom produces 30 minutes of "found time" a day. Choose programs carefully, then use the extra time for more interactive activities--working a puzzle, playing a game, or reading a story together.
10. Don't over-schedule your school-age kids. Too many commitments after school can be counterproductive, straining children as well as parents, who must arrange for transportation. Sometimes the best solution may be an after-school program that offers a one-stop-shopping approach, bringing activities such as Brownies and gymnastics to the program centre. Children need some downtime when they come home. If they're all worn out, they won't be able to enjoy time together with the family. Help them to choose each activity carefully.
11. Establish a sensible bedtime for children. Teachers report that more and more children are arriving at school and child care centres tired because they stay up too late. When children are well-rested, the whole family functions more efficiently. Tucking children in at a reasonable hour also gives parents a much-needed chance to relax, spend time alone together and prepare for the next day.
12. Beware of the mall. Everyone needs to shop for clothes and other items, of course. But simply wandering through the mall as a form of family entertainment on weekends can leave everyone feeling unsatisfied. It can also put a dent in the family budget if parents or children make unnecessary, impulsive purchases. Instead, substitute more active, truly family-centred activities--a walk in the woods, a trip to a children's museum, a visit to the playground.
13. Involve children in everyday activities. These might include preparing dinner, setting the table, folding the laundry, sorting recyclables, washing the car. Working together offers a good chance for conversation and connection. Even very young children can get in the spirit of helping.
14. Ask for help. Spouses and children are not mind-readers. Quietly discuss with them what needs to be done to clear more time for family activities.
15. Be mindful of small opportunities. Every moment you have with your family is precious, but transitions--when you leave your child at day care, or kiss your spouse goodbye in the morning--are especially important because they can create a closeness that remains with you all day. Treat these times thoughtfully.
16. Use the answering machine. Turn on the answering machine when you want to avoid interruptions during mealtime, family activities, and bedtime rituals.
17. Establish "touch-base times" when family members connect with one another. Working parents feel more in control of limited family time and work more efficiently when they can count on regular connecting points during the day, such as breakfast, an after-school phone call, and dinner. Even 10 minutes at breakfast allows a chance to plan the day-- "who's going to pick up whom"-- and to send children off on a positive note.
18. Try to work efficiently on the job so you can leave your work at the office. Don't bring work home unless it is absolutely necessary. Before you leave work, spend five minutes clearing up your desk and making a list of the things you need to do tomorrow. This will prevent you from worrying about your job while you are at home.
19. Set priorities. Some days, of course, even the best efforts to use time efficiently still don't seem to be enough. In such cases, the best solution is to focus on the most urgent priorities and let go of lesser details, such as housework. Your children will only be small once, but the house and the chores will always be there.
You'll need to realise that there are some things you simply cannot do. Ask yourself how important some task or commitment really is. Feel comfortable saying, at the end of the day, "I've done my best. That's all I can do today. I'm done." The proper attitude will allow you more contentment and satisfaction. You can end the day knowing you have done all you could to make sure you will use time productively tomorrow--and have fun with your family!
By Dr Scoresby
When asked what would bring them more happiness, many people say they want more time for themselves, and more time with their families. Obviously this wish cannot be answered by adding more hours to a day. The solution can be found by using the time you have more efficiently. Smart time management (planning carefully and setting priorities) can give you more time to be used for yourself and your family in the ways you enjoy.
Many parents work long hours and find that free time with their families is extremely limited. Try to involve your children in what you need to do. Break down your big projects and delegate so that you can spend time together, even when simply doing chores.
When planning a birthday or holiday party, make a list of the things to be done, and do one small part of the preparations every evening. For example, work on invitations one night, planning decorations the next, then decide on the menu, and so on. Your kids will enjoy being involved in the preparations and will feel proud they contributed to the success of the event. You would have spent time planning the party anyway, and by involving them (even if they're not as helpful as you make them think they are) you will have derived double benefit from limited time.
Avoid wasting precious time together watching too much television. Watching TV is tempting, because you don't need to expend any energy. There's nothing wrong with enjoying movies and favourite TV shows together, but you may get into a monotonous habit. Whenever you have a free hour or two, don't fill it by turning on the TV.
Simplify your life by getting rid of clutter, junking useless possessions, and cutting down on outside commitments. For example, if someone calls you and extends an invitation, don't be afraid to say you can't make it (even if you have no prior commitment). Make choices based on what's best for you and your family.
Little time-savers and efficiencies (shorter showers, simple dinners, dishwashers) can make a difference, but the important thing is to see the larger picture and make some fundamental changes. Here are 19 tips that will simplify your life and give you more family time.
1. Consolidate lists and schedules into one planner, then keep it close at hand. This avoids losing track of commitments when you have one calendar at work and another at home. Time-management systems (such as Franklin Day Planner) offer binders and inserts in various sizes, allowing you to customise pages to suit your needs.
2. Keep a family calendar. Tape a large monthly calendar on the refrigerator or mount an erasable bulletin board on the wall, listing everyone's activities. Also include deadlines for long-term school projects. Try using a different coloured marker for each member of the family. This makes individual schedules easy to identify and encourages children to keep track of their own activities.
3. Plan each day. The maxim that you have to spend money in order to make money also applies to time. Spend 10 minutes--early in the morning, on your lunch hour, or before you go to bed--quietly reviewing what you must do in the next 24 hours. This helps you feel in control, cuts down on unfocused activity, and helps you concentrate on the things that really matter.
4. Write family time into your schedule. If time together is a priority, don't just hope it will magically appear after everything else on your long list has been checked off. Block off several hours on a Saturday afternoon, for example, even if you don't yet have specific plans.
5. Pare down your possessions. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Every object exacts a price beyond its initial cost in terms of cleaning, upkeep, and storage. Getting rid of unneeded things--magazines, newspapers, letters, clothes, even unused furniture--produces two benefits. First, it frees more space in closets and rooms. Second, it confers a sense of lightness and mental freedom. Ask yourself: Do we need this item? Do we use it? Do we like it? If the answer is no, throw it away, give it to a charity, or sell it.
6. Maintain order. Who hasn't known the frustration of searching frantically for something that it temporarily misplaced or buried amid clutter? It wastes time, energy, and peace of mind. Before you go to bed, load the dishwasher, straighten the living room, gather newspapers and trash, and sweep the kitchen floor quickly. Then, in the morning, everything will go more smoothly.
7. Keep a petty cash fund. If children need money for school lunches or transportation, calculate the total amount you need each week. When you do your banking, get enough dollar bills or small change to cover everyone's needs. This saves frantic last-minute searches in wallets and pockets as the school bus approaches.
8. Use automatic bill-payment plans. Most banks allow customers to authorise direct withdrawal from a checking account. You select the date for withdrawal. Bill-paying can be time consuming. There's no way to do it fast and accurately. Each automatic payment means one less check to write, one less stamp to lick, and one less deadline to remember.
9. Ration television time. Is your family watching too much TV? Even one less sitcom produces 30 minutes of "found time" a day. Choose programs carefully, then use the extra time for more interactive activities--working a puzzle, playing a game, or reading a story together.
10. Don't over-schedule your school-age kids. Too many commitments after school can be counterproductive, straining children as well as parents, who must arrange for transportation. Sometimes the best solution may be an after-school program that offers a one-stop-shopping approach, bringing activities such as Brownies and gymnastics to the program centre. Children need some downtime when they come home. If they're all worn out, they won't be able to enjoy time together with the family. Help them to choose each activity carefully.
11. Establish a sensible bedtime for children. Teachers report that more and more children are arriving at school and child care centres tired because they stay up too late. When children are well-rested, the whole family functions more efficiently. Tucking children in at a reasonable hour also gives parents a much-needed chance to relax, spend time alone together and prepare for the next day.
12. Beware of the mall. Everyone needs to shop for clothes and other items, of course. But simply wandering through the mall as a form of family entertainment on weekends can leave everyone feeling unsatisfied. It can also put a dent in the family budget if parents or children make unnecessary, impulsive purchases. Instead, substitute more active, truly family-centred activities--a walk in the woods, a trip to a children's museum, a visit to the playground.
13. Involve children in everyday activities. These might include preparing dinner, setting the table, folding the laundry, sorting recyclables, washing the car. Working together offers a good chance for conversation and connection. Even very young children can get in the spirit of helping.
14. Ask for help. Spouses and children are not mind-readers. Quietly discuss with them what needs to be done to clear more time for family activities.
15. Be mindful of small opportunities. Every moment you have with your family is precious, but transitions--when you leave your child at day care, or kiss your spouse goodbye in the morning--are especially important because they can create a closeness that remains with you all day. Treat these times thoughtfully.
16. Use the answering machine. Turn on the answering machine when you want to avoid interruptions during mealtime, family activities, and bedtime rituals.
17. Establish "touch-base times" when family members connect with one another. Working parents feel more in control of limited family time and work more efficiently when they can count on regular connecting points during the day, such as breakfast, an after-school phone call, and dinner. Even 10 minutes at breakfast allows a chance to plan the day-- "who's going to pick up whom"-- and to send children off on a positive note.
18. Try to work efficiently on the job so you can leave your work at the office. Don't bring work home unless it is absolutely necessary. Before you leave work, spend five minutes clearing up your desk and making a list of the things you need to do tomorrow. This will prevent you from worrying about your job while you are at home.
19. Set priorities. Some days, of course, even the best efforts to use time efficiently still don't seem to be enough. In such cases, the best solution is to focus on the most urgent priorities and let go of lesser details, such as housework. Your children will only be small once, but the house and the chores will always be there.
You'll need to realise that there are some things you simply cannot do. Ask yourself how important some task or commitment really is. Feel comfortable saying, at the end of the day, "I've done my best. That's all I can do today. I'm done." The proper attitude will allow you more contentment and satisfaction. You can end the day knowing you have done all you could to make sure you will use time productively tomorrow--and have fun with your family!